Dee Dee Phelps

With Jan and Dean in a Restaurant

Sep 26th, 2007 by deedee

This episode was eliminated from the text of Vinyl Highway, Chapter 7, Life in a Sedan. It shows how teenagers will resort to anything to add a little excitement to a long car tour. This incident took place in the Midwest during a tour in the early Sixties, while stopping for lunch in some roadside restaurant. ……………………………………………………………………………………………

One afternoon, we stopped for lunch at a fairly nice coffee shop. Dick and I, Jan and Dean were seated at the table. When Jan left to use the rest room, Dean turned to us.

“I’m playing a joke on Jan,” he informed us. “No matter what I say, just go along with it. And pretend his name is Randy.”

Dean called the waitress over. “You know that guy that was sitting here a

moment ago? He was just released from a lock up facility into my care. But, don’t worry. He isn’t really dangerous, at least, not to others. But he might try to hurt himself.”

The waitress stared at him with concern on her face.

“Forks and knives are too sharp,” Dean continued. “So no matter what food he orders, even if it’s solid food, please bring him only a large spoon. Also, he’s on a liquid diet. Whatever he orders, just bring him a bowl of soup.”

The waitress nodded vigorously.

“And don’t worry if he gets upset,” Dean added. “I know how to handle him.”

The waitress quickly scooped up the knife, fork and small spoon on Jan’s place mat, plunking down one giant spoon in their place. When Jan returned to the table, he didn’t notice his silverware change. The waitress returned to take our orders. Jan ordered a hamburger and fries. She pretended to write the order down, sneaking furtive glances in Dean’s direction.

“She’s acting weird,” Jan said.

Dean smiled, pretending everything was normal. When the food finally arrived, the waitress set the plates down in front of everyone but Jan. Finally, she slid his bowl of soup onto his placemat and hurried away.

“What’s this?” Jan asked. “I didn’t order soup. I ordered a hamburger.”

“Just eat what she gave you,” Dean ordered. “Be grateful for what you

get.”

Jan gave Dean a frustrated look. “WAITRESS!” he shouted. The woman hesitantly approached the table. “I didn’t order soup. I ordered a hamburger.”

“Now, Randy,” Dean cooed, as if he were talking to a child. “Soup is much

better for you than a hamburger. Go ahead and eat it.”

“I DON’T WANT SOUP! Why are you calling me Randy?”

“Dean’s right,” Dick added. “Just eat the soup, Randy.”

Jan glared at everyone sitting around the table and turned to the waitress.

“Will you bring me my hamburger? Now!”

Dean nodded to the waitress that she should do this and she hurried off to the kitchen.

“What is this, some kind of joke?” Jan asked.

“Now, Randy,” Dean continued. “You know it isn’t good for you to get upset. They might have to put you back in the lock up facility.”

“You know what? You’re crazy.”

A hamburger arrived shortly. “Do you think I could have some silverware to eat my burger with? Not just a big spoon?” Jan asked the waitress.Dean caught the waitress’ eye. She raced away.

“This is just ridiculous.” Jan wailed. “I can’t eat a hamburger with a spoon.”

“Now, Randy,” Dean cooed. “It’s going to be alright. Do you want me to cut up your food for you?”

Jan grabbed the bottle of ketchup and angrily turned it upside down, smacking the bottom to get some out. The thick tomato paste remained trapped in the container. Jan hit it harder and harder. Finally one tremendous blow released a large amount ketchup all at once, flooding over his hamburger, fries and onto the table.

We were unable to control ourselves any longer. With peals of laughter, we howled until tears ran down our faces. Finally, even Jan joined in. Now that all eyes were on him, Jan scooped most of the ketchup into his soup bowl with his big spoon and ate his hamburger with his hands.

“Very good, Randy,” I said.

Everyone started laughing again. Now that Jan was in on the joke, in future restaurants he took it over the edge. He would always leave the table and Dean would tell the waitress about Jan’s alleged problems. When Jan returned, he talked slowly and slurred his speech, like a big baby. No matter what he ordered, he was always given a big spoon. He would proceed to use it for his meals, no matter what he was eating.

Posted in Stories About 60's Rock Artists | 2 Comments

2 Responses to “With Jan and Dean in a Restaurant”

on 26 Sep 2007 at 7:31 pm1Gary

Ah yes, Jan & Dean……I have as many fond memories of listening to Jan & Dean as I was growing up, as anybody else. I was too young to see them when they were in their prime, but I did finally get to see them for the first time in the 80s, and it was really one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. Jan was in great form and funny as hell. I got to meet them after the show and Jan kept us in stitches for what seemed forever! Definitely two of the nicest people I’ve ever met in the music industry. I LOVE hearing any Jan & Dean stories, so THANK YOU for the laughs from this story, Dee Dee! MORE!!!!
on 29 Sep 2007 at 10:08 am2Chris

Oh, that’s one of the funniest stories I’ve read in years! I laughed out loud. Great visual dialog. Thank you for posting it!
– Chris

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With Jan and Dean in a Restaurant

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